Europe 2015: Pennines and the Lake District

After four relaxing days spent in Wales, we hit the road again, this time for the Pennines and Bronte country. We had debated at length during planning about trying to stay in Liverpool for one or two nights, but ultimately the cost of accommodations kept us from doing that. Liverpool also ended up being one of the main cities we didn’t attempt to see; our experience in Birmingham was still fresh in our minds, and we were more keen to see the countryside rather than urban life, so we skirted around Liverpool and Manchester and headed toward the destination I was most excited about: Malham Cove.

I refer to this as “the day we overdressed.” It was a cool morning when we started out in Wales, but it was warm and humid when we got to Malham Cove. We also didn’t know that it would be such a long, uphill hike that day. In hindsight, it would’ve been nice to have worn shorts and one less layer that day, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have made the same wardrobe decision again. It definitely didn’t ruin the day, it just made me more prone to complaining.

We parked in the village and ate our packed lunches, then it was time to hike! The footpath goes in a circle from the village, and it covers Janet’s Foss, Gordale Scar, and the limestone pavement. We opted to start to the right, because we are American and the right-hand thing I guess is hard-wired in us. It ended up meaning that we did the majority of climbing on a gentle slope, whereas if we’d gone left, we would’ve gone straight up via a craggy stone staircase.

To the right, the path winds along private fields and farmlands.

It went past an old barn and through a couple of those nifty kissing gates.

Advantage went to me for wearing my Salomon boots. I’m gonna take every opportunity to celebrate those things, since they took up so much room in my backpack when I wasn’t wearing them.

That’s right, those suckers had to tiptoe around the mud puddle, but I walked right through it. Mwahahaha! I mean, it wasn’t that big of a deal, that was the only mud puddle on the whole hike, but still!

Once across the field, we got to a dense forest that had another kissing gate along with this posted sign:

As Kara and I are huge fans of Elementary, naturally I had to snap a picture and send it to her.

Once inside the gate, it was like we’d left the real world behind and entered a fairy tale. Everything was quiet except for the flowing water, the air was thick with the smell of wild garlic, and there was greenery as far as the eye could see.

We came across this tree with coins from every currency wedged into it. Apparently these are a phenomenon all over England and Wales known as “wishing trees,” wherein a person can wedge a coin into a felled tree to wish away an illness, believing that the tree would take it on.

I’m pretty sure Kathleen wedged in an American quarter, not knowing the tradition, and luckily none of us were foolish enough to remove a coin (which would result in us taking on the illness instead of the tree).

Deep into the forest, we finally came across Janet’s Foss. Remember how we learned in Iceland that anything with -foss was a waterfall? Linguistics!

It’s so named for the fairy queen who lived behind the fall, according to folklore.

You can climb down the rocks and get into the water, or sit on the rocks and take in the atmosphere. It’s magical. Really. If we’d never made it to the limestone pavement, I would’ve been thrilled with how we spent the day.

We weren’t the only ones enjoying ourselves! This pup ended up climbing onto the rock just below me and shook water all over me, but I didn’t care, I was just overjoyed to be near a black lab again.

You can climb to the top of the waterfall and stand at the very edge.

I mentioned the garlic smell earlier, but we didn’t know what the smell was until we got to the waterfall and read the information panels. I think the wild garlic adds to the location — you’re never in danger from vampires.

It’s a beautiful, peaceful stroll that was pretty highly accessible as waterfall hikes go.

Then as suddenly as you enter the glen, you’re out again. We had the option to bypass Gordale Scar and continue to the limestone pavement, but we took a wrong turn and ended up at the scar anyway. No regrets.

We were watching a man scale the rock wall, it was incredible and terrifying. And relaxing, I won’t lie.

Then it was time to climb, slowly and steadily, for about two miles. We went through sheep fields and over stiles, tactfully avoiding poop piles and suspicious sheep.

And then, finally, we were at the limestone pavement.

The ridges are deep, deep enough to injure yourself if you’re not careful. Also deep enough to lose your cell phone forever if you’re clumsy, so I was very careful.

And don’t say pop culture is a bad thing; I never would’ve heard of Malham if it hadn’t been for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

After taking in the views and exclaiming over the rock formations, it was just a matter of descending a terrifying, steep set of stone stairs.

That’s the limestone pavement from below. When people ask me “what was your favorite part of England?” my answer is always immediately “Malham Cove.” I highly recommend it even if you’re not a hiker — but if you are a hiker, you’ll love it. It’s definitely a challenge, but it’s totally worth it.

It had been a long day and our BnB was located in a village south of Malham called Cragg Vale. We had a very difficult time finding the BnB (it was in plain sight but the instructions from the owner were very confusing) but once we arrived, we were blown away by how lovely it was. The building was over 100 years old, but it was completely updated and best of all, it had a dryer along with a washer. Such luxury. Except I don’t understand washers in Europe? I never did figure them out. They just kept running, including this one.

Kathleen and I shared a room while Mum took the master bedroom. Waking up to this was not too shabby.

Yes, you’re looking at the first cloudy/rainy day of our English adventure! But on the upside, I watched a group of cows walk in a straight line in that field across the way, and they all chewed on the same tree, taking turns. It was pretty sublime.

We had set aside this day for Haworth and Skipton, but as none of us are Bronte fans, we weren’t as enthusiastic about Haworth as we were about other villages and towns.

On its own, it’s lovely. We visited all of the shops and compared it to our summers spent on St. George Street in St. Augustine.

Soap that looks like food! Come on. That’s pretty cool, right?

We stopped for tea and I had my first cream tea!

I should’ve eaten more scones with clotted cream, in hindsight. There is no American equivalent.

There was also an unforgettable moment where we asked a local where to find the Spar (for a cash withdrawal) and she laughed at our pronunciation of the word. We said it, you know, like Americans, “Sparrr,” and she laughed gently and said she had to think about it for a minute because it’s “Spah” to them. Maybe you had to be there.

We pressed on to Skipton which was bigger and more crowded thanks to an outdoors market. But it also has a castle which Mum and Kathleen were allllll about.

That side of it is actually still a private residence, which was mind-blowing for us. I wondered about interior decorating. I like to think they have an industrial loft aesthetic happening inside those ancient stone walls.

There is an admission fee to tour Skipton Castle, but it’s not very expensive and it includes the grounds, the church ruins, and a fun infographic for a self-guided tour. Plus the workers standing at different intervals were chock full of information.

This is the main courtyard which used to house a spring for fresh water, which is why it’s called Conduit Court. In the late 1600’s, Lady Anne Clifford had this yew tree planted.

The whole castle is full of history and odd remnants from different architectural eras. My favorite was the interior of the drum towers where you can see the older, narrower tower ruins inside.

I was pretending we were under attack. But by far the most memorable part is the dark, narrow staircase leading down to the dungeon.

I was 80% serious in this one, homie don’t do dungeons, but I braved it long enough for a quick glance around and a shot back up the staircase to freedom.

It was time for another tea while the other two traipsed around church ruins, and then back out into Skipton to explore the outdoor market.

It had been a long day by that point, and we knew we had an even longer one ahead of us the next day, because that was reserved entirely for the Lake District.

I’ll be completely honest: this was a bad day for me. It was a long drive up to our first stop, Ullswater, and right before I parked the car, I made a ridiculous driving error that prompted a lot of yelling from everyone in the car (and likely the other car involved, too). I let it get to me and succumbed to a bad mood, which permeated our little group and didn’t let up until well past midday. If there’s an Olympics for stewing or spiraling into a terrible mood, I would medal. Silver at best, though, because I come by it honestly.

The bad weather had persisted overnight and even got worse as we drove further north, making me even more surly as I wondered whether we should’ve switched days and done the Lake District the previous day. Further stewing occurred.

It’s gorgeous even on a dreary day, isn’t it?

We went to Grasmere around mid-afternoon and stopped for tea at Baldry’s Tea Room. That was the first time we saw treacle tart on a menu, so naturally, we ordered it.

Oh man. It looks like pecan pie without the pecans, so when we bit into it, that’s what we were expecting. Turns out treacle tart is comparatively savory… and when you’re prepared for teeth-rotting sugary sweetness, it’s pretty jarring. But once we adjusted, it was actually very enjoyable.

Mum had ordered some kind of mocha confection that came in a mug the size of a bowl, and it was covered in whipped cream, chocolate flakes, and marshmallows. We had a good laugh at her and it broke the ice for the rest of the day. This was one of my favorite tea rooms of the whole trip because the servers were so friendly, the food was delicious, and the cafe itself was so cute.

Grasmere was, of course, home to Wordsworth, but did you know it also has a store with the most jigsaw puzzles in the world, probably?

Feast your eyes! Kathleen, who had been collecting puzzles as souvenirs along the way, was beside herself with excitement. I even found a small wood-cut puzzle souvenir for Justin!

After walking around Grasmere, we hit the road and continued north toward Keswick, pretty much just driving aimlessly in order to see the lakes and scenery. Kathleen remarked that a lot of the lakes looked like they were straight out of Harry Potter, and I agreed. It makes sense, since we were so close to Scotland.